Stepping Backwards to Move Forwards
If you ever need to “reset” your mental state, pack up a backpack full of only essentials and go wander off into the middle of nowhere for awhile.
About a week ago my life seemed like a complete mess. After changing my education path a few times, I still was unsure on where I saw myself when I graduate (hopefully) in May this coming year. I had gone back and forth with statistics and medical professions, investigating every option under the sun, hoping to find “the one”. Yet, with only a year of school left, I was still questioning my decisions.
At the same time running had become a giant question mark. After three years of collegiate running I was seriously contemplating not returning for a final season of cross country this fall. By no means did that mean I wouldn’t run on my own anymore but since becoming a collegiate running my relationship with the sport had been very mixed and had seemed to be getting unhealthier with age. It seemed like it shouldn’t have even been a question; I had great teammates, a great coaching group and had been running all my life. Why step away now? For me it had become an imbalance of expectations, reality, and the stresses that came with attempting to align the two.
With all of this going through my head I was sitting at home when an old buddy who I ran with at St. Thomas and lived with last summer shot me a text wondering if I wanted to head out somewhere for a night or two and “get away” from everything for a bit. A couple days later we had packed up the essentials, hopped in the car and were headed for the North Shore of Lake Superior.
We spent about 24 hours wandering through the woods, taking trails based solely on impulse. We made a glorious dinner of Instant Ramen and trail mix on the beach of the lake, drinking water that tasted somewhat like milk from mineral deposits. We also made sure to leave our one phone off, only to be used if disaster struck. By the end of the night we reeked of bug spray, sunscreen and sweat. It was a glorious night.
The next day we were up well before the sun and by mid-afternoon would be back in the bustling city of St. Paul. Our trip didn’t last long but it was exactly what I needed at the time.
I went for a run that afternoon and it dawned on me how simple life really can be. I had been in the midst of what I considered a complicated mess and yet I had left it all behind by opting to disappear into the woods. For that brief time I had everything I needed packed into a bag and the rules of life disappeared. Everything was pretty simple.
The trip reminded me that a lot of times we make life more complicated than it really is. It’s easy to get caught up in the stresses of life decisions and to over-complicate even the simplest of things, but life isn’t really all that complex. Sometimes we just need to do things because we enjoy them. We can build up our problems but many times it’s just us overhyping the situation. Sometimes the best thing we can do to solve our problems is to step away for a second and reevaluate our perspective.
For me, I finally cemented my education path (for now). Maybe it will change again in grad school, maybe not. Right now that doesn’t really matter though, it hasn’t happened yet. I also decided to run cross country again. My mindset is focused on being competitive and helping my teammates but to also enjoy it. Sometimes it’s easy to forget why you’re running when all you want is to chip away a few seconds off your race time. No doubt I’ll be chasing PR’s this fall but I also plan on reminding myself daily of why I keep lacing up those shoes day after day.
Perspective is important. Sometimes we get so focused we forget to occasionally reevaluate the scenario. While it seems like the only way to solve a problem can be to hammer away looking for a solution, maybe it’s best to step away for a bit and let the solution come to us.
